Can’t Sleep? Tips and Support for Men Struggling with Restless Nights

Can’t Sleep? Tips and Support for Men Struggling with Restless Nights

It’s 2:47am. Again.

You’re staring at the ceiling, wide awake. You shift your position for the fifth time, hoping this is the one that brings relief. Maybe you’ve tried counting backwards, maybe that podcast helped last night. But tonight? Nothing is working. The silence is loud, your thoughts are busy, and your body feels wired.

You glance at the clock again. 3:12am. You try to stay calm, knowing that frustration only makes things worse. But it’s hard—really hard—when your mind won’t switch off and your body refuses to relax.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many men experience periods of poor sleep, but few talk about it. Some think it’s just a phase, others keep pushing through. But sleepless nights have a way of creeping into your mood, your work, your health—and your relationships.

This blog is for the men who lie awake, night after night, wondering what’s wrong, and what they can do about it.

There is nothing wrong with you. But there may be something unspoken, unprocessed, or unsupported beneath the surface. And that’s where counselling for sleep issues in men can help.

Before we get into therapy, let’s stop here. If you’re reading this, you’re probably exhausted. Maybe you’re reading from your phone in the dark, or sitting on the edge of the bed trying to make sense of another broken night. Or maybe it’s the morning after and you’re gearing up for another day running on fumes.

Sleep is essential—not just for physical recovery, but for your mental and emotional stability. When sleep disappears, everything else begins to slip. It affects your mood, your energy, your ability to focus, your relationships, and how you feel about yourself.

This is more than just sleep. It’s about finding rest. True, grounded rest that makes you feel like yourself again.

If you’ve already tried all the usual tips—no screens, early nights, warm showers, breathing exercises—and still can’t sleep, the issue may go deeper. You’re not failing. You’re human. And you might just be carrying more than you realise.

Practical Tips for Restless Nights

Here are a few things that might help—not as a fix-all, but as ways to shift the pressure:

1. Give up the fight
Instead of trying to force sleep, try to focus on rest. Resting with your eyes closed, even if you’re awake, helps your body unwind.

2. Get thoughts out of your head
Jot them down in a notebook or notes app. If your mind won’t stop, try giving your worries a place to land.

3. Speak to yourself like you would to a friend
That voice in your head—would you say those things to someone you care about? Try being gentler.

4. Focus on breathing
Try slow breathing. In for four, out for six. Let your body feel grounded and safe.

5. Listen to what your mind is trying to say
Sometimes, sleeplessness is your mind's way of asking for attention. What are you avoiding or suppressing during the day?

These practices go beyond generic sleep hygiene. They’re simple, practical steps to help men reconnect with calm.

Why Men Struggle to Sleep

There are many reasons men can’t sleep well. Here are just a few:

Stress and pressure: Work demands, finances, expectations, fatherhood. The mental load can feel invisible, but it’s heavy. Unspoken emotions: Many men weren’t taught how to talk about feelings. They hold them in. But emotions don’t disappear—they wait. Anxiety and overthinking: When everything’s quiet, your brain gets louder. It replays, reanalyzes, questions. Health or hormonal shifts: Testosterone levels, sleep apnoea, or physical pain can also affect sleep. Lack of support: Not having someone to talk to, or feeling like you’re supposed to cope alone.

Society often expects men to be "fine," to keep going. But being human means needing rest, release, and support.

The Hidden Toll of Sleeplessness

When men don’t sleep, it shows up in different ways:

• Irritability or emotional numbness

• Low motivation or focus

• Physical exhaustion without physical cause

• Disconnection in relationships

• Anger, anxiety, or shutdown mode

You might not say anything out loud. You might not even fully realise how tired you are until it starts affecting the people around you.

That’s why counselling for sleep and stress in men can be such a relief. It gives you somewhere to offload the pressure.

Why Sleep Hygiene Tips Don’t Always Work

You’ve probably heard all the typical advice:

• Don’t eat too late

• Avoid caffeine

• Use blackout curtains

• Keep your phone out of bed

These help some people—but when the root cause is emotional or psychological, they only scratch the surface. Sometimes, you need to go deeper.

How Counselling Can Help Men Sleep Again

Counselling gives you space to talk without pressure. No expectations. No judgement. Just a space to figure out what’s happening inside.

Therapy can help you:

• Understand what’s keeping you up at night

• Break the cycle of overthinking and worry

• Let go of self-criticism or emotional isolation

• Reconnect with your body’s natural rest rhythm

• Feel calmer and more in control again

It’s not about being weak. It’s about being real—and supported.

A Place to Talk, Without Pretending

Men I’ve worked with in Maidstone often say things like:

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me—I just can’t switch off.”
“I’m fine all day, but the second I try to sleep, everything floods in.”
“I thought I could push through it, but I’m shattered.”

You’re not alone in this. Counselling helps you:

• Drop the mask

• Say things you haven’t said before

• Feel heard, without needing to fix it all instantly

Sometimes sleep doesn’t return until you finally feel safe inside.

About Me – Garry Ebrey

I’m a qualified, person-centred counsellor based in Maidstone. I work with men experiencing anxiety, stress, burnout, and sleeplessness—often all at once.

If you’re lying awake at night and feel like you’re running on empty, I’m here to offer you space to pause, breathe, and be understood.

Let’s Talk

If the nights feel endless and your days feel like a blur, let’s have a conversation.

📞 Call: 01622 232643
🌐 Website: www.garryebrey.com

You don’t have to push through it alone. Counselling can help. And it starts with one small step.