Can’t Sleep? Tips and Support for Women Struggling with Restless Nights

Can’t Sleep? Tips and Support for Women Struggling with Restless Nights

It’s 2:47am. Again.

You stare at the ceiling, trying to slow your breath. Maybe if you just shift positions. Or count backwards from 100. Or replay that calming podcast you’ve listened to dozens of times. But the silence is deafening. Your mind races through memories, regrets, worries, tomorrow’s to-do list, and things you wish you’d said. Your body feels tense, like it's on high alert—but for what, you’re not even sure.

The room is dark, but your thoughts are blinding. You glance at the clock. Again. 3:12am. You try not to panic because you know that getting anxious about not sleeping only makes it worse. But it’s hard. So hard.

You might even dread bedtime now. Not because you don’t want to sleep—but because you know how it’s going to go: the waiting, the overthinking, the tears that sometimes surprise you.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. So many women quietly fight this exhausting battle, night after night. For some, it’s a phase. For others, it becomes a cycle that chips away at your mood, your patience, your focus, and your sense of self.

This blog is for the women lying awake with a mind that won’t switch off. Wondering: Why can’t I sleep? Is something wrong with me? And what can I do to make this stop?

I want to reassure you—there is nothing wrong with you. But there may be something unheard, unprocessed, or unsupported. And that’s where counselling for sleep issues, especially for women, can help.

But before we talk about therapy, let’s pause and honour this moment you’re in—the quiet hours when everything feels louder. If you’re still reading, it means something here resonates. Maybe you’re in bed right now, reading on your phone, hoping for a sign that things will change. Or maybe it’s during the day, and you’re replaying another broken night, wondering how you’ll get through the afternoon without snapping or falling apart.

Sleep is not a luxury—it’s a basic human need. And when it disappears, everything else starts to unravel. It affects your energy, your memory, your patience, your skin, your hormones. It changes the way you speak to yourself. It shapes how you show up for work, for your family, for your own reflection in the mirror.

That’s why this isn’t just about sleep. It’s about rest. Real, nourishing, safe rest—the kind you crave on every level.

If you’ve been searching for help with insomnia in women, scrolling through tips, trying everything from warm baths to herbal teas to sound machines, and still lying awake, please don’t blame yourself. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re simply dealing with more than your nervous system knows how to soothe right now.

Gentle Tips for Restless Nights

Here are a few things that may help—not as fixes, but as gentle invitations:

1. Stop battling sleep
Instead of trying to force sleep, try giving yourself permission to rest. Even if you’re awake, lying still with your eyes closed is still a form of restoration. Remind your body that it’s safe.

2. Write it out
Keep a small notebook by your bed. If your thoughts are loud, try a quick mind-dump. No structure, no grammar—just let the thoughts land somewhere other than your chest.

3. Soften the self-talk
Notice the voice in your head at night. Is it panicked? Is it angry at you for not sleeping? Try gently responding to it like you would to a tired child: "It’s okay. I know this is hard. We’re doing our best."

4. Connect to your body
Place one hand on your chest, one on your stomach. Breathe slowly. Feel the rise and fall. Remind yourself you are here, you are safe, and this moment is not forever.

5. Ask what your sleeplessness is trying to say
Sometimes, what keeps us up at night is not just stress—it’s truth trying to surface. What emotion or story is knocking on the door, waiting to be heard?

These practices go beyond sleep hygiene tips for women—they are small acts of self-kindness. And over time, they create space. Space for your nervous system to settle. Space for your mind to feel held. Space for sleep to return, gently, when it’s ready.

What’s Really Keeping You Awake?

There’s no one reason why women can’t sleep. It’s often a mix of things:

Anxiety and overthinking: Your mind replays every conversation, to-do list, or fear about the future.
Hormonal shifts: Menstrual cycles, pregnancy, perimenopause, and menopause all affect sleep.
Invisible stress: Caregiving. Motherhood. Work. Relationships. Mental load. Emotional labour. The weight that builds silently.
Trauma or unresolved pain: Something buried years ago that your body hasn’t forgotten.
Feeling emotionally unsupported: No one to talk to about how exhausted, lost, or stretched thin you really feel.

As women, we’re often taught to keep going. Be strong. Be kind. Be productive. But when the world quiets at night, all those unspoken thoughts rise to the surface.

What Sleeplessness Feels Like (It’s Not Just Fatigue)

When you’re stuck in a cycle of poor sleep, it affects more than your energy. You might feel:

• Short-tempered or weepy over small things

• Foggy or disconnected during the day

• Like your body is buzzing but your brain is tired

• Panicked when bedtime approaches

• Hopeless, like this will never end

It’s easy to feel like you’re going mad—but you’re not. You’re tired. You’re human. And you’re holding a lot more than anyone may realise.

Why Traditional Sleep Tips Often Don’t Work

You’ve probably tried all the common sleep hygiene advice:

• No screens before bed

• Herbal tea

• White noise

• Breathing techniques

• Routines, rituals, eye masks

These tips help some, but for many women, they’re not enough. Because the issue isn’t a noisy room or a late-night scroll. It’s what’s sitting inside you when the lights go out.

That’s where women’s sleep therapy and counselling can make a difference.

How Counselling Can Help You Sleep Again

I don’t offer quick fixes or miracle cures. But I do offer something just as powerful—a safe space to be heard, to feel, to rest emotionally. Because often, the very act of giving voice to what’s inside can bring unexpected peace.

Counselling for insomnia in women helps you:

• Understand what’s beneath the sleeplessness

• Break patterns of overthinking or self-pressure

• Explore how past experiences may be affecting your rest

• Learn how to calm your nervous system

• Build a sense of emotional safety and self-connection

It’s not about being "fixed." It’s about being supported—exactly as you are.

A Quiet Place for Women to Be Real

I’ve worked with many women in my counselling practice in Maidstone who have said:

“I’m fine during the day, but at night everything falls apart.”
“I dread bedtime. I know I’ll just lie there.”
“I feel like no one understands how tired I really am.”

And I understand. Sleeplessness can feel lonely, even shameful. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Counselling gives you a place to:

• Let go of the mask

• Name your fears without judgment

• Be supported in your exhaustion

• Reconnect with your body’s need for rest

Sometimes, sleep returns when your story is finally heard.

About Me – Garry Ebrey

I’m a qualified, person-centered counsellor based in Maidstone. I offer therapy for women who are experiencing anxiety, low mood, burnout, emotional overload—and often, sleep problems that won’t go away.

I won’t tell you to just breathe or think positive. But I will sit with you in the truth of your experience, and help you make sense of it, gently and at your pace.

You deserve rest. And not just the physical kind. Emotional rest. Mental rest. That’s where healing begins.

Let’s Talk

If your nights feel endless and your days feel heavy, I invite you to reach out.

📞 Call: 01622 232643
🌐 Website: www.garryebrey.com

You don’t have to “cope” alone. There is support for women who can’t sleep—and it starts with a conversation.